


When the rain is heavy and the wind rises (you and me)

by halahan



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Canon Compliant, Kissing, M/M, One Shot, commission, self beta, we die like men?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:29:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23950846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halahan/pseuds/halahan
Summary: Something about the stage makes his eyes drift to Hongjoong.
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 11
Kudos: 66





	When the rain is heavy and the wind rises (you and me)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [illegalfriend](https://archiveofourown.org/users/illegalfriend/gifts).



> commission for [fraise](http://twitter.com/illegalfriend)!  
> based on ateez's 200208 concert, if you were in the fandom that day, you know what this is. (if not [click here](https://twitter.com/403onair/status/1226177332504739842?s=20))

Seonghwa loves the stage.

He loves standing on the stage, singing, dancing, doing what he’s dreamed of for so long, and in front of the people that made it possible. On stage, his heart feels full, full of their fans’ love, full of the pride he feels when singing with his members. And he’s so grateful, so grateful for the hundreds of lights that surround him tonight, waving their newly named _Lightiny_ lightsticks around in rhythm with the music that brought all of them together.

These are the feelings he usually puts into his singing when ‘Thank U’ starts playing, but something about the stage makes his eyes drift to Hongjoong.

It seems that since the tour has started – not that long ago, really – the leader has made it a habit to stay close to Seonghwa during this song. The latter was surprised the first time, but after a few times, the surprise transformed into something that flutters deeper in his stomach. He knows very well what it is, but he doesn’t want to put a name on it, however obvious it might be when he thinks about it. So Seonghwa simply doesn’t think about it too much, he just lets himself feel quietly, his eyes shining with a different light when he looks at the short, smiling, talented,  _ beautiful _ younger man.

But when Seonghwa does let himself think, he thinks about how grateful he is for Hongjoong, too. For leading the then group of teens into their dream, for being there to listen when Seonghwa needed to talk, for trusting him with his own hardships. He’s grateful for Hongjoong being in his life and he can’t help but want to sing the lyrics to him.

_ This is what I wanted to say, I’ve been thinking about it all night. _

This night however is different. This night Seonghwa’s heart beats faster with adrenaline, this night when he sees that not only his eyes are shining but his leader’s too – even if it’s with tears instead of the older’s usual wonder – and Seonghwa’s chest feels as if it will explode.

_ I want to say these words now. _

Hongjoong smiles at Seonghwa with just the right amount of teeth, just enough of his usual mystery and right the touch of meaning Seonghwa needs for his body to get chills all over. The leader walks over to him, standing up on his toes to wrap an arm over his shoulders, watching over the audience with an expression Seonghwa wants him to wear all his career, even all his life if he can – and if Seonghwa can claim to be by his side for that long.

The music and cheers build up Seonghwa’s courage. He steps to the side to stands a foot away from Hongjoong that now looks at him with raised brows and his mouth in the cutest ‘o’ shape he’s ever seen; he extends his hand, and Hongjoong takes it with a chuckle, the sound of it being the sweetest melody even if Seonghwa can barely hear it over the song that’s playing, his eyes in crescents as they look straight into the older’s. They make his heart ache in the best way.

Seonghwa bows, singing his line.

_ Thank you. _

It’s when he comes back up to face Hongjoong that something snaps in his mind. He takes the step he’d taken back forward again, and his lips find their way to Hongjoong’s like magnets.

Everything freezes.

Time,

the crowd,

the members,

the music,

Hongjoong.

Everything freezes except for the leader’s mic. It falls from his hand, it falls almost in slow motion, hitting the ground with a deep thumping sound, before it turns into a strident feedback howl, piercing through Seonghwa’s ears and creating a deafening silence around him. It’s like the crowd was creating a heartbeat and suddenly the beat stops, replaced by the high pitched squeal of the machines. Maybe Seonghwa’s heart has really stopped, too.

For as long as his lips are on Hongjoong’s, nothing seems to happen, it’s like they’re in their own little bubble. Their hands are still holding each other, and Hongjoong’s one now freed from the microphone comes up to Seonghwa’s chest hesitantly.

Every single second like this seems to take an eternity to go by, and it’s when the hand on his hand pushes him away that the bubble pops – and when he opens his eyes he wonders if he’d actually been alone in that bubble.

When Seonghwa opens his eyes he sees confusion in Hongjoong’s. Around him the sound of the crowd and the music is distant, a buzzing overpowered by the beating of his heart against his eardrums. Slowly, realization of what he’s done dawns upon him, his face feeling warmer with each passing instant. He can feel tears pooling in his eyes, but they don’t seem to fall.

Seonghwa is full of uncertainty. Regarding what he’s feeling – shame? regret? relief? no matter how much he’s tried not to, he has dreamed of this moment for long, but the actual conditions feel far from ideal, maybe it should have stayed a dream – and regarding what the man standing in front of him, still holding his hand against all odds, is feeling – he hopes it’s good, he hopes his dreams were shared by the pink-haired leader, but he can’t help but think of how wrong it must feel to him – and it’s overwhelming.

The oldest member steps back, tumbling a little, his hold onto Hongjoong breaking. His sight widens, the rest of the world coming back to surround the leader to whom he’d given all his focus, his back to the crowd.  _ And it’s surely better like this _ , he thinks,  _ isn’t it? _

He suddenly feels detached from the world, and he walks past all his members, ignoring the man that calls after him.

“Wait!”

He walks faster, disappearing from the stage, and from everyone else’s sight.

“Seonghwa!”

There’s a little voice in his head that tells him to stop running, but he does what he believes he should have done a few minutes ago: he ignores it.

Something he can’t ignore is the hand that grips his arm and forces him to turn around.

_ When the rain is heavy and the wind rises, _

_ You and me, _

_ You and me, _

_ It’s always the two of us. _

**Author's Note:**

> hope u enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it!
> 
> talk to me:  
> [twitter](http://twitter.com/atzplay)  
> [curiouscat](http://curiouscat.me/alpacats)


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